More than meets the mind's eye

There is an old quip that “there is more going on than meets the eye,” which long ago seemed to me to only point out that one is not seeing all that is going on in the background of some events. Yet I now ponder the thought a bit more broadly.

“Meets the eye” could refer to more than just what scenes are being seen by the eyes. The visible light-waves that enter the eye’s lens to form an image on the retina, are what is meeting the eye, more specifically. Those light-waves flowing through into the eye and triggering chemical processes in the eye’s retina, and those chemical changes trigger electrical signals that head over to talk with lots of other signals from elsewhere in the retina and get compared by the brain and mind to have them trigger meaningful impressions.

However, there are lots of light waves that head towards the eye that are not detectable by the retina’s chemistry, and thus presumably do not end up as meaningfulness in the mind. For example, radio, WiFi and television waves flow into the eye yet are ignored by the eye. In fact, the vast majority of electromagnetic waves that “meet the eye” are not presented by the eye to the brain as being there. The waves “meet the eye” but do not meet the mind’s eye.

Of course, the phrase was more likely to refer to such things as the mischief that the bad boys are doing on the other side of the wall out of sight; or even the complex inner workings of a clock that all one sees is the time indication on the face of the clock.

The mind’s eye, the imagination, is usually tuned up to best-possible represent the real world out there. For example, as one drives down the road, one’s mental image of the road out there with all its implications, needs to be a close similarity with the real-physical-world out there so as to be adequately useful to help guide one’s driving of the car.
Yet, as in watching a video or reading an adventure novel, the mind’s eye can also “see” that which has little if any relationship with what is physically out there right now.

And, one can imagine doing something without actually doing it. For example, I can imagine typing “mind’s eye” here before actually typing it. By doing so I can evaluate the difficulty level involved as well as probable results of the imagined action. Athletes can improve their performance by repeatedly imagining themselves performing some physical action perfectly, before actually doing it physically, I have read.

Yet also much more is received by the eye than reaches conscious awareness. One can cope with only a small fraction of the million bits of visual data coming in from the eyes each second; thus some part of the brain (or mind) has to pre-filter out nearly all that is actually meeting the eye via light waves, before passing on the selected goodies being offered up for some attention by the conscious mind.

So where this trail of thought is leading me right now, might be something like that there is more being received by the eye than am aware of, that actually could be quite interesting or informative. Did “I” set up all the pre-filter parameters that controls what reaches my consciousness? What even if something out there meeting my eye is telling my pre-filters to not “see” certain things? Such a thing could be very useful to those who seek to deceive or manipulate people.

And I have the “feeling” that even right now close to me, there is more going on than meets my conscious eye, that would be important for me to know was going on.

The tipping-point in a free-enterprise system turning gold into lead

There is a tipping point in a “free enterprise” system, that is a bit like alchemy’s turning lead into gold, except in this case it is like turning gold into lead.

It is the point where a business makes a subtle change in its guiding principle. It is when the dominant business motive changes from making a fine product or service and expect to receive appropriate reward for the value added by the business, into the primary goal being to make the most profit, and the provided goods or services is mere leverage to get that money.

It is when the R&D department comes up with a variety of potential new products, and management decides which to pursue. There is a choice between a product that is better for the customer and a better value for the money, VS a product that will maximize the company’s profit but provides the customer with a lesser value product. When management has to choose the inferior product that makes the company more profit, that was the tipping point.

More broadly, when you have a nation peppered with such businesses, all choosing the inferior product so as to make more money, and they have business territory control so competition cannot do anything, then you have a nation of customers stuck with the inferior products and services, and less money in the bank. That means the people of that nation have to cope and accomplish life stuck with the poorer resources of what the nation built and services provided. It is a weaker nation, due to lesser capability of resources provided by their goods and services.

It is possible that sometimes this tipping point happens when the company’s investors make demands for more dividends, applying pressure on the management. Or it might happen when a company is making good money and products and is bought at a price that cannot be refused; then new management comes in, trained only to maximize profit and invest in business territory control rather than base sales on better products for the customer.

When the larger business system collaborates to prevent customers any options other than what provides the aggregate business system with the highest profits, the tipping point has locked itself into place.

The why affects the what and how and who of it all

Just mildly pondering the thought that the “why” people do a something, affects how they do it and also the kind of results obtained, especially the lateral effects of what was done.
And also figuring out the “why” someone does something, is a bit of guessing game. It all gets quite into the “people stuff is complicated” zone. Yet it all may not be useless to contemplate all the time.

This trend of thought seems to have been triggered by the news articles about the expected launch of a lunar rover by the Chinese. Connecting human civilization with lunar resources has long been more than a casual interest in me, and I have written a lot about it during the past forty years or so. However, the responses I have gotten range from apathy to “we don’t know you” to outright hostility and undercutting. So the thought now is that it is the “why” of doing something that makes the difference.

And the “why” can be quite complex, including being variable with the situation and even self-contradictory at times.

The current articles on the Chinese launch to the Moon, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25178299 , point out that the Moon is a potential source for elements needed by industry and in short supply here on Earth, and the lunar environment be a site for man’s works including gathering solar energy to help supply civilization’s enormous need for energy.

Now, these things have been known for at least the forty years I have been making suggestions as to how to efficiently access and utilize lunar resources. Yet we here in the US, whom I have addressed over these decades, have ignored my efforts, or worse. Now the article says the Chinese are going after lunar resources, with their fledgling industrial skills. Yet America still is doing the ignoring thing re lunar resources, despite our early efforts half a century ago. It is the “why” of it that is perhaps the difference.

This blog post could get to be really long and maybe even lose the original path by doing so. I will just point to a couple of my online-avaiable writings:
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/32802637/1972MooncableDocumentRev2C.pdf and in a different mode
http://www.amazon.com/Torus-City-Shields-Returning-Home/dp/144212489X/ and the
http://www.facebook.com/groups/185118771625919/ “Moon Space Escalator” group. All of these writings describe not only why the need but also offer efficient new ways to achieve them. Results: the big silent treatment. Consistently. I point out my efforts as an example of the “why” of doing something, strongly can affect the “what” that is done, which can even include giving the “big silent treatment” as what is done.

There is no change: the Moon is still there not that far away, the resources are known to be there, the resource needs of civilization’s thriving, continue as before. Yet the Chinese head for the Moon while America … does not head for the Moon.

So I now suggest that exploring the differences will provide a lot of answers to the differences in the “why” of doing it. I could get long is my conjectures about it right now, but there is only so much effort needed just to maybe get a little info into a responsible brain out there, somehow surviving amongst the suffocating “big silent treatment” blanket here in America.

Repeating, this is to urge exploration of the thought that the “why” of doing something can have major effects on the “how ” and “what” of doing it – and maybe there is a lot of the “who’ involved, too.

Jim Cline

When are you leaving

As an Asperger I spend some time trying to understand interactions with other people. Other people tend to use verbal conversation in important ways. I do my best to participate as well as possible. Yet sometimes the verbal stuff possibly is laced into a situation in ways I don’t see at the time.

It is not that I don’t have ability to utilize words, but in writing instead of in talking. It is different. For example, I do this blog and have written technical papers of my concepts, and have written novels, eight of which are in self-published print, which several people have told me they enjoy the novels, sometimes even unable to put them down until finished reading them. So I seem to write words OK. It is the out-loud, in your face, verbal conversation that can have even magical aspects, I think, an example of which is the focus of this blog post.

About 1958 my parents bought a nice house in Albuquerque, NM. I visited there at times, and at times I sought work in the area, as my parents had a bedroom there for me to stay economically. My dad made special effort to show me the maintenance of the property, particularly how to get up on the roof and service the swamp cooler, an annual routine. He clearly intended for me to live in the house after they had passed away; I, however, was not really able to comprehend them as ever passing away. But I was assured I would have this nice house some day; I had no siblings so it would all be mine, no question.

Yet I ended up without the home, and the family heirlooms, most of the furniture and most of my large collection of things I had cherished and saved from childhood. The home all gone. And in my dim Asperger’s way I now puzzle, how did I lose all that, and instead stay in small rathole apartments, never thinking of going to stay with my parents and live in the room they had for me there? And then the house was sold after Dad passed away, gone,
In my profession as an electronics engineering technician, the average duration of employment on any job was said to be two years before a RIF. So especially in the last two decades of my employed years, I would sometimes go visit my parents for a couple days, as well as I would come there sometimes on holidays or vacations. There even were several times I was in between jobs desperate for work and almost homeless, yet I did not even think of coming to stay at my parents home, while I looked for a job. I did not even think of it. Why?

Clearly there was a strong mental block that brought it about. I still struggle sometimes with these out-of-sight mental-blocks that interfere with me getting things done, very troublesome and very hard to get past. Strange stuff. Yet I need to comprehend the lessons of the past, or as it is said, one has to learn the lesson all over again until it finally gets learned. So, what happened re the loss of what there had been no question of, that I would live in and own the nice family home there in Albuquerque?

Clearly it was something in my thinking that cost me the family home and most of the collected family belongings in it (after Dad passed away Mother managed to get some things moved and into my possession, such as the furniture that Dad had built and is now in my home here.) So, what messed up my thinking? Thinking back to the home, there on the street in Albuquerque, it seems that oddly there is like a bubble of invisibility enveloping the lot and house inside it. Kind of like imagining a rounded big silver-colored bubble. Never saw anything like that before, best I remember.

As my Asperger’s mind puzzles over complex things – that has enabled me to create very nice technological concepts in the past, but it also works on trying to assemble somewhat meaningful patterns of my life experiences too. And as I was awakening this morning, another piece of the puzzle came back to me – I had remembered it several times in the past only to forget it again – and it is a strange but consistent thing that oddly fits much too well. I got up this morning with intent to get it written down as a blog post, before once again it goes pffft gone out of consciousness again.

In the over half dozen times in later years I visited at my parents home, long after my wife divorced me, and I endlessly hoped to find a woman to love, I was a young man who was instinctively attracted to nice looking women, although few were ever to be seen. I had a favorite TV show, the Dinah Shore Show I think it was called, and Dinah was so very nice, tall, thin and straight, vibrant smiling and kind. I mention that as pattern background in my mind, normally unconscious.

Anyway, my Asperger’s puzzling seeking meaningful patterning re the loss of my family home long ago, has found a match. It surely has multiple lessons for me, too, if I can understand them correctly.

It involves the woman who lived next door to my parents home there. I rarely saw her over the decades my parents lived in Albuquerque, but I knew she was attractive, ever perfectly looking and was a high socialite in the community, and she had two attractive daughters that I could never seem to meet, in my lonely life.

There was a repeating pattern, most exactly repeating each time, as I think about it, although spanning many years between repeats.

I would be visiting at my parent’s home there, out in the yard doing something, and I would suddenly see the neighbor woman – lets call her Mrs Maureen, since supposedly one is not supposed to use real names in writings about others – “Dinah Shore Image” AKA Mrs Maureen would be standing there relaxed looking at me with a small smile on her face, she perfectly attired and hair perfectly done. Clearly she wanted to talk with me. I would quickly stop what I was doing and go over to stand in front of her, I said hello.

She would each time be standing in the same place, on the edge of where their lawn ended and ours began, next to the pine tree that I had planted long ago. The small smile never left her face as she seemed to look past me at the window of my bedroom, and without a hello back, would nicely say “When are you leaving?”

Sometimes expecting a hello back, I would just say “Huh?” and she would exactly repeat the standing there looking so nice and with the small smile on her face looking in the direction of me and the window to my room in the house, and pleasantly repeat exactly “When are you leaving?” still wearing the pleasant smile. I would have to reset my thoughts and figure out when I was to end my visit there, usually in a couple of days, and I would struggle to verbalize the day I was to leave there, as she stood there with the small smile on her face sort of looking in my direction but at the house too. I expected her to continue the conversation, but each time she would then simply turn her back to me without even a goodbye and walk away back toward her house.

I would be left standing there, wondering what all that was about. The attractive very socially functional woman had clearly urged me over to greet her yet all she did was say “When are you leaving?” and then turn and walk away as soon as I had said when I was to leave. The attractive smiling woman with the two attractive daughters apparently only wanted to get me to think about when I was leaving, then she would walk away.

This kind of thing happened identically several times over the span of over a decade or two. Thinking back, she always was standing in the same spot when i suddenly noticed her there looking in my direction with an inviting smile; that the spot she stood was directly across from my room in my parents home, standing directly north of the window so I had to stand with my back to the window to talk with her, now seems part of the pattern.

So I now puzzle over this rather peculiar piece of the puzzle of what cost me my home that my parents had long prepared for me to live in, their only offspring. There surely is a lesson or two for me other than mentally grousing at myself as being a goof-up; the past is past and cannot be done better, but apparently something is in that long ago repeating scenario that I need to know for my present and near future life situations.

Clearly it is not a lesson taught in the school classes or in my reading about stuff over the ages. It seems to be a pattern even with a clearly “magical” aspect as part of it. The socialite neighbor woman clearly was an expert in manipulating people – much as was my former wife. What if when she arranged those quick face-to-face meetings with me there standing on the lawn across from my room in my parents’ home, looking so nice and yet she had only one interest and that was to know when I would no longer be there, planting that thought in my mind, and now I hypothesize that she was also mentally picturing that my house was in a bubble of invisibility to me, the house not existing there for me; that strange idea would explain the “silver bubble” imagined around the property as I think back to those times now. And yes over the years I have often read of a thing where people would mentally picture something happening strongly, and then it would happen; possibly it was used for more than having a perfect parking spot suddenly open up for them in a totally filled parking area.

Why would the neighbor woman, who would never introduce me to her daughters, want me to not live there next door? I was not a bad person; I tried desperately to be accepted by people, despite my Aspergers struggle to do so. That worked well on the job and often kept me working when others were laid off before I was. But in the wider world of people’s doings, it rapidly got really complicated striving to make everybody pleased since people often had opposite wants re me, for example.

Anyway, the puzzle pieces now sort of seen, part of the puzzle piece seems to involve me struggling to make the smiling attractive woman next door happy by me being gone from the place. The place that obviously would have been my inheritance, too, as they gave their all for me, their only offspring. Apparently my striving to please an attractive woman is not always a wise thing to do.

Well, I think I have now gotten it written down here, helped a bit by first sips of morning coffee. I think I saw some patterns: the attractive neighbor lady getting my attention while she always stood in exactly the same place in front of the window to my room in my family house, getting me over there to just ask “When are you leaving?” and stand there smiling while I shifted gears to answer the question, then she simply turned and walked away.

Well, there must be some lessons in all that, but they seem vague and right now I don’t see where it fits in with my present situation, although some neighbors around me seem to always have resented me living here, despite my not being a nuisance to them. Yet I must learn the lessons or else have to repeat them the hard way. I have my own home now, far from Albuquerque and a very tiny house of far poorer quality than my parents’ home was, but this is my house, although only as long as I keep up the mortgage payments; unlike the house I would have inherited from my parents, which probably was paid for by then.

Life’s lessons. OK so I know I now know am an Asperger’s also with attention problems that cancel out the Asperger’s strengths. That wheat damage to my physiology has contributed to the early mercury damage again getting loose as a young adult, and has had a crippling effect on all my life since, is part of explanations, ought to help comprehension. But in this case, apparently it was some other person’s intention that I lose my home, was a key part of it all, is thought-provoking right now.

I am long gone from there in place and time now. So why do I so clearly see in my mind, the attractive woman smiling at me and has only to ask of me “When are you leaving?” Is there something that my subconscious is warning me to deal with, and if so, what is it?
Aargh, people-stuff is complicated. And, maybe it is true that “you can’t get there from here.” But what is it now that I need to understand?

Senseless tragedy patterns making sense

It takes me awhile - often hours or days, sometimes years or decades - to see the patterns that non-Asperger's apparently know instinctively. Yet occasionally I figure out patterns that only then become "obvious" to others. I don't initially know which is which, however, except maybe later getting reactions from others - but they typically either ignore me because they were born knowing the pattern; or instead were embarrassed that they had not already seen the pattern. (People-stuff is complicated.)

So this blog post is about such a basic pattern I have suddenly seen. It too is probably one that most others instinctively knew all along; but maybe not.

The pattern is one I first saw as portrayed in the movies. It is of a crime gang boss giving a member of his gang the "kiss of death" which means the man that got kissed by the gang boss has to go out and do some extremely horrible thing to targeted previously-unknown other people that will get himself killed too. The "horrible thing" was usually to do fulfillment of a "contract" the gang "wrote" to do some dirty work for a nameless client, so that it cannot be traced to the "client" but lots of people will realize what happened, yet cannot prove it, and are thus presented with having to comply with some very uncomfortable demand, or risk having another "senseless tragedy" done to them again sometime without warning.

So this insight is of that kind of pattern happening. And it seems to perfectly fit the recent "senseless tragedy" at the naval base in Washington DC a few days ago.

A perfect fit, and its scope suggests the very heavy-duty players in the game, and the real stakes involved in whatever is being pressured to happen, without being traceable to the real commanders of the events.

It takes real courage in a nation to not give in to such activities, either to comply; or for others to perpetrate; when to not comply means another bunch of innocent people will get killed, somewhere, but exactly when the gang-boss says it will. So it is "comply or innocents will die and only you will know that you could have prevented it" kind of thing.

Do I need to use the word "bullying"? Or is the huge scale and deceptions involved, able to obscure the bully mentality that plays this game?

The part that the public is shown, is the mangled mess physically done by the "suspect" who seems to have acted without reason, but yet with lots of preparation and probably key invisible support along the way - but the public is led to believe that the "suspect" just suddenly went crazy "hearing voices" or "on drugs" etc and that somehow that had caused the "suspect" to go bonkers - for the media to do otherwise might invite the crime-gang-boss to give another "kiss of death" that would result in media personnel and facilities to be next. Scary, and paranoid-inducing; much easier to comply, and besides the real targets are likely strangers anyway so who cares....

So my insight of this pattern, so closely fitting the Naval Base incident a few days ago, also suggests to me that other "inexplicable" tragedies, like the Auoura-Batman-movie-theater incident that took out the Canada-event-survivor soccer game reporter young woman, and the Tucson event including Gifford, are among the events that could be actually the playout of "contract" assaults that are intended to be untraceable to the original instigators - except perhaps by their ultimate effects. (The expertise of deception of the big-players is "people-stuff is complicated" really big-time to me. But what a waste of otherwise good human capability to be constructive and collaborate so all can live better in a long-lasting world. Their choice, not mine.)

I might also be the only one who noticed that Giffords and Kelly were both very much into expansion of support of space utilization prior to the assaults; but since the "crazy man's sudden assaults", they no longer mention space, but only gun control. Is that only an incidental effect?

To solve a problem, it must first be correctly defined. Remember?

Or is it too scary sometimes? Rightfully so; there is very little defense against the Organized Stalkers.

Gang vs individual re prowess

Getting attention seems involved, in some of the news media articles, and the people involved seem central to what supposedly is about events instead of about people.

Maybe it is because I grew up in a time when fantasized exceptional individuals became virtual mentors on how to be: Captain Midnight, Superman, The Lone Ranger, Tom Mix, the Green Hornet, Batman, Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, Roy Rogers, are some names of those exceptional individuals of fantasy and fiction that formed examples to follow by the developing kids of the time. Gangs, groups, tended to be destructive and led by a particularly mean individual, usual a male crazed with urge for power over others.

But - perhaps only in my imagination - there seems to have been a reversal and increasingly so in recent decades. The team led by a small faction portrayed as achieving great things constructive, whereas the lone individual just freaks out and causes havoc, messing things up and hurting people - just the opposite of back when I was growing up, and individuals were more self aware and responsible-acting.

Yesterday's news seems to me to show a - maybe too clear? - example of this. The big news of the day was a live video telecast on BBC showing the raising of the capsized luxury liner Costa Concordia over in Italy, the shipwreck the largest ever attempted to be moved. Over a year of work by hundreds of skilled people, guided by engineers, had built the enormous framework and mechanisms to slowly rotate the enormous vehicle, while keeping it from breaking apart and ruining the local environment. This was a constructive effort of the gang as led by the few who coordinated the whole picture to function as a whole, and was successful in uprighting the ship. It was a "yay team," kind of thing. This ought to have been the top news of the world yesterday, a "good for us we can work together and achieve great things," kind of thing as led by competent engineers. There were none of the highly visible glib politicians or wealthy businessmen portrayed as implied being the high achievers and worthy of so much attention, because in this case, the best outcome is just to get the wrecked ship far away then scrap it; and besides, remembering that the shipwreck was caused by a team, the ships crew, does not put the team portrayed better than the individual. So as the Costa Concordia got tilted over upright, it was the lead engineers themselves up front, instead of the wealthy and the politicos, for a change. Or would have been except it all got upstaged.

However, coincidentally (??) yesterday while that was going on, another of those spectacular events was going on, getting the attention, an individual who for no apparent reason had gone to great lengths to get lots of attention simply by going bang bang at a bunch of helpless people.

So yesterday's news was the gang vs the individual, but in this case the gang's constructive efforts were upstaged by the individual's long travel and clear preparation to do a freakout.

That the news will as usual just imply the, well, individuals like that get a gun and blow people away, as if spontaneous despite the obvious long preparation to do that exact freakout - why? - maybe to pass the time of day, individuals just do those kind of things, right? And as for group accomplishment that is extraordinary, well, that is noteworthy only if it has the politicos and wealthy businessmen spotlighted implying they achieved the great stuff.

People-stuff is complicated.

Puzzle pieces seems about kids this time

My subconscious sometimes brings up something from long ago, and keeps reminding me of it, as if an important thing for me again in the present in some way. So, like the strange car problem event of my previous blog post here, I will describe this new piece of a puzzle seeking where to fit.

The first event was maybe a decade ago, before I moved up here; I had set out from my lowest-rent rathole apartment in Sunland in the early morning as usual, the start of my usual three hour journey of walk, wait at bus stop, ride bus, wait at another bus stop in Chinatown, ride bus, long walk, then arrive to do my volunteer job at the museum of natural history, as I had done for years. Just getting started again on this dull trip, I trudged along stoically ready to endure the three hours; the people who rode the bus system were only the poor people, the downtrodden, we all ignored each other. From my apartment, then the block long walk to the first bus stop. It was rare to see any activity there at that time of day, never anyone else out on foot, and few cars. But this time as I walked toward the bus stop as I crossed a sidestreet, I noticed there were two people walking toward me on the sidewalk, was a tall muscular man along with a small boy alongside him. Something looked odd about them, maybe not father and son; but Asperger's usually cannot figure out people, but if they are out of place at least something some times makes me notice, and puzzle. About then a white sedan comes from behind me, rapidly pulls up to park alongside me on the corner, surely not legal; a lean-mean man hurries out of the driver's side goes around back of car and next is coming up rapidly along the sidewalk behind me. Am fairly dulled, no fun the journey and in the poor parts of town one sometimes sees odd things going on. But about then the tall man and small boy are about twenty feet in front of me and the boy says "He's not the one." The tall man with the boy changes his poker face suddenly into a look of rage and he roars "What do you mean, he's not the one!" Little boy says again, he is not the one. They walk past me, the tall muscleman's face rapidly returning to a different look. I continue the plodding up the hill toward the bus stop. Clearly I was the target of something and if they were going to do it well I could not stop them. And it was silence behind me, nor did I notice anything more of that event. Other than my Asperger's sensory thing had recorded it all in detail, even though my rational mind was not comprehending a whole lot of it; I often figure out things later, much later.

I have had multiple indications that little kids were being told I was a bad person, as shown by their reactions to me. As well as some adults of some acquaintance, they being normal but then blurt out something as if they angrily thought I was a child abuser. Lots of people, like "the word was spread around". And in addition to the small boy per above incident, I suspect I have been saved several times by a perceptive and honest child refuting some adult's contention.

My subconscious has also been reminding me of another of those very peculiar happenings that my mind files away in hopes of making sense out of it. This one happened the most recent trip to Walmart, where I do most of my shopping. It was a predictable trip there, I suppose, having had to drive to a radio club coffee meeting, and since I had driven my car, I made a stop at Walmart to get things accumulated on my shopping list. I had heard from one of the radio folks that Walmart had the fine point Sharpie pens; I still have one that has not run out of ink and so I intended to see if I could find them among the other things at the huge store. I knew where the pens and pencils were along my usual route through the store, and pausing there although I was not seeing Sharpie pens at first, I eventually figured out they must be at the end of the display case, but there was a full-bearded man and a woman there, with a shopping cart; I marked time a bit, the couple seemed to just be standing there, not looking at the pens, but I could not get to where I could access pens there, as a result. I had almost decided to skip it for now, when two teenyboppers came marching past, two girls, dressed stylishly, not pushing a shopping card, just moving staring straight ahead along past me not looking at me, and I tried to figure out what was that about; unable to get to the pens yet, I turned and watched the two girls - maybe 12 years old, and marching along dressed cute but strangely, they went around the counter; I could make no sense of it. I had noticed the bearded man do something fast with his hands but otherwise act normal just when the girls walked past us, then the couple moved aside a bit and I was able to get to look for the sharpie fine point pens; it is not easy for me to identify such things among the many other similar objects. Suddenly there again the two girls were marching past, exactly same as before, apparently having just marched around behind the counter and were repeating the march past me as I looked at them, thinking they looked cute in their outfits and I know girls like to be thought of as cute. One of the girls suddenly said as they walked past me and the bearded man and woman, "thank you" but was not facing anyone, just was right next to me, but did not turn to look at me or anyone. They repeated the methodical march past, I still could not figure out what was going on, but I did think it was an odd thing happening. I finally found a package of two fine-point Sharpie pens; the package was labeled as that but they looked very different than the ones I had had for years. They did not cost much and if they were not the correct thing, not much loss.

Now my subconscious today has brought up the small boy event and the two teenyboppers who appeared to be actors, at Walmart last time.

Also reminds me of another thing recently: new renters next door. Apparently have two little girls, maybe kindergarden age, both seem same size the two times I saw them, maybe twins. The first time was when I was out in my backyard at my garage, I noticed two little girls over at the fence between the two backyards, an old fence with barbed wire on top of it. One of the little girls yelled at me "You're a bad person!" I just turned away and ignored them. A few days later I was cutting weeds in my backyard, and suddenly noticed the two little brightly dressed little girls, this time they were in the space between my house and theirs, where there is no fence nor even the rosebush barrier which is along between the front yards. The one girl was smiling brightly at me while the companion girl was looking game but uncertain; the other clearly was extraverted and the leader. The smiling girl having gotten my attention, then suddenly ran a couple feet into my part of the yard, as if there were an invisible property line; she quickly jumped back onto her part of the property, still gayly laughing and watching me. I waved and said "Hi" then turned away back to my yard work, but I glanced back at them, the one girl, no longer smiling, said "He doesn't want to"; the next glance in that direction they were gone.

My subconscious says "actresses". Peculiar goings on, again. I remember the Shakespeare thing "All the world is a stage" and yet I think sometimes it is moreso a stage than other times.

My subconscious figures out associations, although seems to me to not have things correct all the time. So this blog post seems a way to deal with it. Maybe there are going to be more toughs ready to jump me, but nothing I can do about it.

Now another item my subconscious thinks is related, that repeatedly has come to my memory in recent months. It takes a stretch of imagination and fill-in pieces, however. It is the quote by Neil Armstrong, who had said a bit offline during his walking around on the lunar surface; the controllers asked him about it later but just were answered with a smile. Armstrong had said "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky." The flight controllers thought Mr Gorsky was a rival Russian Cosmonaut, but could find no reference to one with that name. It was very many years later when asked again what Neil Armstrong had meant, that he finally told about it. Mr and Mrs Gorsky had passed away, and now he could speak about it. Neil as a boy playing baseball in his yard, had gone to fetch the baseball which had landed next to the neighbor's house. As he picked up the baseball next to the neighbor's bedroom window, he heard an angry woman yell "You want sex! You want sex? Well you can have sex when the boy next door walks on the Moon!" So, there on the lunar surface walking, Neil had muttered more to himself, "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Kids remember things. I have long noticed what appears to be a widespread very influential effort to block public awareness of my space concepts that can change the future and make some people very wealthy; apparently they want it erased now and waiting for the future, perhaps intending to announce them as their own great inventions, when I am out of the picture, discredited and/or dead. The one problem could be some person who as a kid had gotten to know me and heard me tell of my space concepts, and thus refute the entrepeneur's proclamation that it was a new thing. So one way to keep little kids from becoming friends with me and learning of my space concepts, is to lay a false reputation of me being a child abuser, a bad person, and tell parents to keep their kids away from me. Well, this puzzle-fill-in seems to fit. But is it what is up? I shake my head, who knows what people are up to.

People-stuff is complicated.

Car power failure but no flying saucers

For the "record" - Here is a personal experience I had. A mere piece of the cosmic puzzle, but where it fits and what it means - is yet to be determined.

Time of occurrence was about 1957 plus or minus year or so. One of the rare times I was not also transporting fellow college students with me.

Place of occurrence: on the mountain highway that connected Las Cruces New Mexico, with Albuquerque New Mexico then, before the now existing freeway was built. It was a winding highway, two lane, one each direction, and at this point was winding through mountainous terrain, a nicely crafted two-lane paved highway, and no other vehicle lights were visible, nor anything but possibly starlight, my trusty 1950 Hudson's headlights serving well as always to show the path ahead. A long somewhat familiar 300 mile trip ongoing, probably eventually to Gallup New Mexico, my High School home town. Nothing unusual to the trip, often driven, as usual now a bit fast, probably 70 mph on a 60 mph highway through the winding mountains.

Then suddenly complete electrical failure. Utter darkness. Engine not running. I pressed on the hydrolic brakes as I strived to remember the shape of the S-curve I was traversing at the point of utter darkness. Pressing on the hydraulic brakes as much as possible per my memory, hopefully without skidding. While using the steering wheel to guide my car in the utter darkness up there in the mountain road, guessing where the road was. The car continued to slow yet not skid. Not into the gravel much alongside the pavement.

Then, finally stopped. Total quiet. Total darkness. Yet, stopped.

Very dark. Engine silent, not running. But I and my car was stopped and had apparently not gone off the road to crash down the side of the mountain; there were no guard rails there.

Well. Now what.

I had a flashlight and found it. I opened the door and got out of my car, to look under the hood. Suddenly by itself, the electrical system started working again. Headlights came on. I was in the gravel alongside the highway, but still safe. I opened the hood of my 1950 Hudson but it looked normal; I was not much into auto mechanics at the time; engine, radiator, battery, looked as before. The headlights continued to shine out across the mountain curve ahead. I got back into the car, shut the door, turned my flashlight off. Started the engine; it started fine.

The path ahead looked reasonable so I let in the clutch and in low gear eased out off the gravel onto the dark pavement, and soon was back up to somewhat slower speed along the curving mountain road, yet tense, waiting for the lights to go out again. Making special effort to look at the curves ahead and trying to remember them as they approached and went, on and on. The headlights kept steady and the engine kept running. The miles went under and the minutes and then hours passed by, like they always had before.

In the months after that, sometimes I tried to do something, anything, to make the electrical failure happen but in safer conditions, but it never repeated, seemed solid as always before. I could not find and fix something that was not happening.

Several decades and lots of life experiences - and cars - later, I read of "Roswell and alien abductions" and even saw movies where a flying-saucer flew over a vehicle and killed its electrical system, as part of the movie adventure.

Hmm. Really a bit similar.

However, I saw no aliens. I saw no flying saucer. No monsters or freaking critters messing around.

Yet I never was able to explain what caused the total electrical failure of my car in a very dangerous curving stretch of a high mountain highway, nor the electrical system's spontaneous coming back to normal functioning, once I had stopped the vehicle before a wreck happened, and was inspecting the engine compartment in effort to figure out what what was going on, then suddenly the headlights came back on. And back in my car, the engine stared easily, and the car drove fine after that, never repeating the phenomenon.

For the Record, if there is one, I don't know what it meant. But something very strange did happen, that was very dangerous.

And, it was curiously like something portrayed in some later movies and novels at times, associated with "flying saucers and alien abductions."

I just remember a sudden very tense scary dangerous time on the highway, involving my car's electrical system suddenly shutting down at a particularly dangerous moment. And later, starting to work again, without apparent cause.

And so I make this effort at a record of the strange event. A piece of some larger jigsaw puzzle.

On Jon Rapport's post re individual imagination

Well, the articles by Jon Rapport usually most impress me by him being much better at ranting than me. His rants are on different subjects than my own, usually; but increasingly I find his articles go along with what I would say maybe 90%of the article. And some articles really get my attention, like the most recent one. I can't figure out a direct url link but at http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/ titled "What concerns all of us at this time" and a point that plugged in a missing piece to my big-puzzle ever figuring out, was where he said "That discredited and stepped-on and discounted faculty of the individual called imagination which, by the way, is not a container holding shielded secrets, but is instead a capability of invention. Everything mind control ever was, is, or will be, is ultimately aimed at producing amnesia about that capability. Therefore, when you bring up the subject of imagination, most people just shake their heads and move on. They are clueless about their own astonishing power...."

That it is possible that much of people's imagination has been usurped by television, movies and videogames, has already occurred to me. But the possibility that people don't ever utilize their imagination at times as governed by their own self-inspired direction, nor even comprehend that could be done by others (unless they have high academic degrees), has gotten me thoughtful. Could explain a few things going on.