mates, or the unequal distribution of mates
I have blogged several times about my Asperger's syndrome's efforts to understand the world of people. This is another. And no doubt this writing will be considered by the powerful as just another rant & rave by a lonely loser. And that is just what it is, to one kind of mindset. After all, that is one of the things blogs are for, to leave a trail of personal discoveries so as perchance to help the next passer-bys.
But hopefully there also is wisdom here that can be found if you seek for that. Do you have time and attention for wisdom? Most of the time, I don't either, so I understand that problem.
Mates: a really important subject. More so even than it would appear on the surface.
In my current perspective, now I am almost an old man, so all I seem to have remaining is to look back. Still an urge to learn and understand. Why am I not mated, why haven't I had a wife all these years, these decades? Does not make sense. Some answers have now been found that seem consistent enough to make a writing here on it.
When I was young, it was clear that the ratio of boys to girls was 50-50, so it was apparent that by nature there was a boy for every girl and a girl for every boy. The only question was who would match up with whom, as there were individual preferences involved. So, one might not get the first choice, ore even second, but that there would be a mate seemed statistically certain, as there were one for one. It seemed written into the laws of the world, since there were just as many girls born as there were boys. So a physical law at work.
There also was the biblical basic teaching that God made woman to be man's companion. This was consistent with the 50-50 male-female birth ratio thing again.
But... I have no mate. Nor for decades. Some female casual friends, but no mate. I know that I am able to be a fine lover to woman, and devoted companion and helper, proven over the past few times I had a chance to show my stuff to woman in relationship. That I had little extra money, nor home to immediately share, or social prominence to share with a woman, those were surely merely items that would pick who got whom, but not affect the basic everyone gets a mate parameter.
Reality check is that I have no mate. And lots of men are in the same situation; it is not just a freak accident re my life situation. A cause must exist.
The cause is that there are some men who crave to hog more than their share of the women. And they are very competent at doing that hogging.
To comprehend this, it is necessary to note that our bodies are sharing the physical characteristics of a type of creature generally called "mammals." Generally it means creatures that give live birth and nurse the young via mammary glands. However, there is a whole bunch of attributes in the same bag, particularly relevant here those having to do with forming groups to enhance survival.
Somewhere among such a group, there was a wayward young male that figured out that if he spent his efforts attacking his male partners in the herd, that the females soon would have to have him fertilize their next generation, no choice. The herd provided safety and nourishment access to the lone male, so he was able to spend all his efforts in hunting down and injuring the other males, and being aware of when a female was ready to be fertilize, and do it. So the next generation tended to have males with the same characteristics, the more aggressive males were the survivors of assault of brother against brother. Eons passed, and the top male had bred into him an uncanny sense of the doings of the others of the herd, and physically built to survive fights with other males of his own kind. The females would take care of outer predators, so the male only had to deal with his own kind. Next generation thus had bred increasingly in them, this urge to have more females to fertilize was not to be better able to support the group nor even be a better partner for the females, it was just to eliminate the female's options, then they had to accept the few winner males or remain barren. Simple and brutal, it worked. And still works, even though now it wears fancy clothing and has polished ways so socially workable.
Now, human males have this mammal body and much of the same characteristics. Simply more competent at dealing with the world, and of passing knowledge down accumulating generation to generation; but there were some males that just had to hoard females. With a 50-50 ratio of males to females, that meant some males had to do without females.
And so there is where I come in, I am one of those.
So, there is some male out there breeding with my woman, this indicates. The male would have qualities, per this hypothesis, that he is born and bred to assault others of his own kind; that his attention is ever on the other men and the fertile women, and physically built to assault others of his own kind; and have the urge to do it so long as the group will tolerate it. That means he is intensely people oriented, has gift of gab, and uses uncanny powers of surveillance and urge to move into position to assault. Has no desire to make love to a woman, just needs to efficiently fertilizer her at the right time, minimum distraction from the ever watchfulness in the assault game. Playing by the social rules, which he knows innately, so as to not raise the ire of the group. He is a born patriarch of a group whether it be political, "religious," corporate, whatever kind of group, there will be the men who demand right to decide which few males get to be intimate with the women, for example.
So, what do the females, the women, have to do with all this? Well, they either want to play along with it, or they are forced to do so, or be barren and have their genes tend to vanish from the gene pool.
To have correctly figured out what a problem is, is said to be a major part of the solution to a problem. Well, at least I've got that part done.
I note I still have no mate, nor none in sight. Long ways to solve the problem. Meanwhile, surely those uncanny surveillance prime-breeders would have me in their weapon sights, just in case I try to have a woman as my mate. Weapons, of course, not of just guns, but the endless tangles of social stuff that can be contrived by the bully that has nothing else to do except ever play the game to win by ruining the other guy.
So, what is this thing that lurks in man and causes man's attention to be diverted from building and nurturing for long term sustenance of life, into bullying and warfare instead? Well, for starters, the thing is actually not a human. It seems to be a parasitical thing that uses its unwitting host species to reproduce the variation that best expresses its assaultive ways it seems to crave, it is a reproductive parasite. Not even particularly human, since it expresses in many species, such as whales, elephants, dolphins, wildebeests. It does not contribute to the survival of the species, merely urges the species to host its ways; if it happens to kill off the species, well, there are plenty of other species on this planet to host it so as to play its compulsive games of violence against its own kind, its endless craving to be performing the glorious bashing of something not very different from itself.
So, I need to get used to it, it will be romping frequently all sorts of places. It can be known by its lack of concern for survival of its species, of its world; instead of merely an increased reproduction of its preferred male members, teams of males genetically unique to be physically built for strife against its own kind, and minded for such strife, breeding in an uncanny social watchfulness, and ever playing games of a kind of teamsmanship to practice so as to strive to have one of their brother-types on the scene to beat out the males who are less prepossessed to do the bidding of the socio-reproductive parasite. I have seen the guys pop up amazingly, in coordination with my activities just about any time I might encounter a woman who could have become my mate; and those guys sometimes have been ahead of me to spread false fear of me so as to scare the women away, how clever. Sometimes it is a bit reminiscent of basketball's principle of assigning a team member to watch and interfere with whatever efforts a certain other member of the opposing team makes: does not matter what the move planned, just interfere with it while within the rules of acting.
It is almost certain that this male parasite "entity" will continue to cause humanity to switch from an in-sight goal of great expansion intelligently and nurturingly for all, to sudden excuse to redirect the resources to go wage war against its own kind somewhere instead. It starts on the school playground, the archetype activity expressing as bullying, great sport. Yet it exists only to reproduce itself and apparently to enjoy the assault of each other to select the most able assaulters to father the most of the next generation. Probably we all have some of those genes in us, and thus pathways for the parasite to observe and control in synchrony. It is hardly Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest" because it is not related to best survival in the environment resource base.
So, it is going to be hanging around doing its thing in the affairs of humans just as in those of elephants and wildebeests. Whatever gets done otherwise, such as the creation of great bridges and skyscraper buildings, of scientific endeavors and fine homes created, ecosystems understood and brought to optimum nurturance for itself and others to best sequence the energy of the Sun to spread through the living system of the planet, has to be done despite the romps of the reproductive parasite happening too.
Currently, that parasite has diverted humanity extremely hard toward violence against one's own kind, instead of the intelligent harmonious building of the future. For an example quite keen in my mind, I had finally gotten the "KESTS to GEO and Applications" wide ranging technological concept understood by peers and acknowledged enough to have it presented and published in 2000. However, by the time of the next technological conference in 2002, when I wrote and presented a more comprehensive paper on the subject, there also was in place a highly visible re-creation of the old anchored tether space elevator concept, with great simulation graphics, claiming that a tether material of sufficiently of strength-mass ratio was already in mass production in Japan and so the tether space elevator could be built starting immediately.
Thus attention was diverted toward a transportation technology that was already said to be ready to be invested in, instead of to the KESTS to GEO form of technology one, which still was needing start of the basic engineering development activities, even though its transportation capabilities were of much greater potential than the tether space elevator, since the KESTS or "Space Escalator to GEO" would itself lift the payload between ground and GEO for the construction of immense facilities up there to provide worldwide clean electric power, recycle industry's toxic wastes, build the long envisioned large space colonies, and provide very efficient high spaceports to go get resource materials elsewhere in the solar system, spreading life beyond the earth surface.
But no, by the time it was discovered that the tether material did not exist (but is in sight, maybe, in carbon nanotube materials technology) for immediate project construction, in 2001 we then played the bully game of "I dare you to knock the block off my shoulder" and we were off on the diverting and exhausting war games again.
Is this writing all just grumping? I hope that a clearer understanding of the overall context influences would help solve the problem. After all, couldn't the "socio-reproductive parasite" be content to just romp among the herd beasts of the jungle, and abandon mankind, if it found that mankind would have none of it anymore?
Mankind's civilization's activities thus have the "reproductive-male-parasites" ways of assault of one's own kind laced intimately into compromise in just about every human endeavor. It can be seen in the motives we have for doing things, and of what we actually do instead of what would have been the best for all individuals of the species and the world ecosystem. Medical technologies would not be developed guided by the ways to wrest the most money from the ill, but instead to enable the human form to function to do the best job in a "United Team of Humanity" that takes on the immense responsibility for the powerful and wise management of life's resources. We would go to the Moon not to control that potential outpost for missile launch facilities with which to threaten one's neighbor nations, but instead as a great materials resource source in the spread of life through the solar system, bringing wondrous life to that which knew not of life before. Instead of squandering our resources in fighting over control of dwindling petrochemical energy resources, we would build the electric powered transportation structures between ground and synchronous orbit, where we would build the great facilities to power our world civilization cleanly and use sun's energy also to fully remove the entropy from our toxic industrial wastes, for pure reuse again, instead of burying it as a hazard nature does not know how to handle; we would build our great cities then in GEO, easy and cheap commute to the ground from there. Students would be in school not driven by a rivalry to see who can learn more than whom, to get better grades than the others in competition; but instead for the satisfaction of hunger for knowledge of the amazing exciting wonders of this universe, of this planet, and to learn how best to nurture life on this planet and spread life beyond too, a tremendous task we would then have the energy and focus to do.
Then mankind could become far more responsible to the life system. Our games would change from demonstrations of brutal force cunningly applied of man against man romping on symbolic territory acquisition, cheered on by gayly waving dancing girls at the sides of the football fields. Our games would instead be those of seeing which teams, which individuals, build the best bridges, the best homes, the best ecosystem management systems and put them into practice. Surely the girls would dance even more happily about that... right?
So although it was not obvious to me, it is all about mates. For recent eons, the great human female invention of 24/7 mating access, overwhelmed the male reproductive parasite guys. But once again, that is being terrorized by disease and social control, so the women can no longer adequately cope with the basic problem of the bullies, no longer "making love not war." Back to the jungle ways. Are those ways not excitingly attention-grabbing more than anything else?