Aspie musings abut bugs and bags

Other people talk of taking on a life challenge to do one thing to make themselves better in some particular way; but it seems that I can't remember a time when my life was not like a bug splattered on the windshield, ever trying to pull myself a bit more back together and where are the pieces, what were they.

Remembering down in LA, when I would sometimes ride my bicycle over to a park, Fallbrook Park I think it was called - and lie down on the grass and rest in the sunshine, my hands on my bicycle and daypack so they would not vanish while my eyes were closed. Quite often there would be a bunch of teenagers nearby who would play on their boombox loudly a song popular in that time, which angrily shouted as a group "We will, we will ROB YOU! We will, we will ROB YOU!" as I lay there dreamily trying to recouperate from the daily stresses. It seems their proclamations got written onto me somehow. Goes along with the bug on the windshield feeling. At least when it was time to get up and bicycle back home, I still had a bicycle and daypack.

Apparently building on the "We will, we will ROB YOU!" theme, now focusing on the archetypal Aspie scene called "left holding the bag" where an Aspie, ever seeking some fun game that others will finally allow him to play too, and sensing such a game going on per the exciting energy around it, comes across bank robbers busy hauling bags of money out. The Aspie enjoys all the excitement and asks if he can join in on the fun too, and he gets handed one of the money bags and is told the way to play is when those flashing lights get closer, carry the bag into that open door over there, while we go hide. Overjoyed at the invitation to actually join in on the fun, and of course unable to immediately comprehend all the nuances of the situation, the Aspie obediently waits until the flashing red lights and sirens are about to arrive and then goes toward the bank door, as the cops arrive on the scene, and catch him holding the bag. Apparently it is part of really intelligent gangs to do a setup such that some Aspie will take the rap for the gang's nasties, as part of the preparation and follow through of their gang's big capers.

I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me.